Said I to Myself, Said I
WHEN I went to the Bar as a very young man(Said I to myself—said I),I’ll work on a new and original plan(Said I to myself—said I),I’ll never assume that a rogue or a thiefIs a gentleman worthy implicit belief,Because his attorney, has sent me a brief(Said I to myself—said I!)
I’ll never throw dust in a juryman’s eyes(Said I to myself—said I),Or hoodwink a judge who is not over-wise(Said I to myself—said I),Or assume that the witnesses summoned in forceIn Exchequer, Queen’s Bench, Common Pleas, or Divorce,Have perjured themselves as a matter of course(Said I to myself—said I!)
Ere I go into court I will read my brief through(Said I to myself—said I),And I’ll never take work I’m unable to do(Said I to myself—said I).My learned profession I’ll never disgraceBy taking a fee with a grin on my face,When I haven’t been there to attend to the case(Said I to myself—said I!)
In other professions in which men engage(Said I to myself—said I),The Army, the Navy, the Church, and the Stage,(Said I to myself—said I),Professional licence, if carried too far,Your chance of promotion will certainly mar—And I fancy the rule might apply to the Bar(Said I to myself—said I!)