Damon V. Pythias
TWO better friends you wouldn’t passThroughout a summer’s day,Than DAMON and his PYTHIAS,—Two merchant princes they.
At school together they contrivedAll sorts of boyish larks;And, later on, together thrivedAs merry merchants’ clerks.
And then, when many years had flown,They rose together tillThey bought a business of their own—And they conduct it still.
They loved each other all their lives,Dissent they never knew,And, stranger still, their very wivesWere rather friendly too.
Perhaps you think, to serve my ends,These statements I refute,When I admit that these dear friendsWere parties to a suit?
But ’twas a friendly action, forGood PYTHIAS, as you see,Fought merely as executor,And DAMON as trustee.
They laughed to think, as through the throngOf suitors sad they passed,That they, who’d lived and loved so long,Should go to law at last.
The junior briefs they kindly letTwo sucking counsel hold;These learned persons never yetHad fingered suitors’ gold.
But though the happy suitors twoWere friendly as could be,Not so the junior counsel whoWere earning maiden fee.
They too, till then, were friends. At schoolThey’d done each other’s sums,And under Oxford’s gentle ruleHad been the closest chums.
But now they met with scowl and grinIn every public place,And often snapped their fingers inEach other’s learned face.
It almost ended in a fightWhen they on path or stairMet face to face. They made it quiteA personal affair.
And when at length the case was called(It came on rather late),Spectators really were appalledTo see their deadly hate.
One junior rose—with eyeballs tense,And swollen frontal veins:To all his powers of eloquenceHe gave the fullest reins.
His argument was novel—forA verdict he reliedOn blackening the juniorUpon the other side.
“Oh,” said the Judge, in robe and fur,“The matter in disputeTo arbitration pray refer—This is a friendly suit.”
And PYTHIAS, in merry mood,Digged DAMON in the side;And DAMON, tickled with the feud,With other digs replied.
But oh! those deadly counsel twain,Who were such friends before,Were never reconciled again—They quarrelled more and more.
At length it happened that they metOn Alpine heights one day,And thus they paid each one his debt,Their fury had its way—
They seized each other in a trice,With scorn and hatred filled,And, falling from a precipice,They, both of them, were killed.