When a Feller’s Itchin’ to Be Spanked
W’en us fellers stomp around, makin’ lots o’ noise,Gramma says, “There’s certain times come to little boysW’en they need a shingle or the soft side of a plank;”She says “we’re a-itchin’ for a right good spank.”An’ she says, “Now thes you wait,It’s a-comin’—soon or late,W’en a feller’s itchin’ fer a spank.”
W’en a feller’s out o’ school, you know how he feels,Gramma says we wriggle ‘roun’ like a lot o’ eels.W’y it’s like a man that’s thes home from out o’ jail.What’s the use o’ scoldin’ if we pull Tray’s tail?Gramma says, tho’, “Thes you wait,It’s a-comin’—soon or late,You’se the boys that’s itchin’ to be spanked.”
Cats is funny creatures an’ I like to make ’em yowl,Gramma alwus looks at me with a awful scowlAn’ she says, “Young gentlemen, mamma should be thankedEf you’d get your knickerbockers right well spanked.”An’ she says, “Now thes you wait,It’s a-comin’—soon or late,”When a feller’s itchin’ to be spanked.
Ef you fin’ the days is gettin’ awful hot in schoolAn’ you know a swimmin’ place where it’s nice and cool,Er you know a cat-fish hole brimmin’ full o’ fish,Whose a-goin’ to set around school and wish?‘Tain’t no use to hide your bait,It’s a-comin,—soon or late,Wen a feller’s itchin’ to be spanked.
Ol’ folks know most ever’thing ’bout the world, I guess,Gramma does, we wish she knowed thes a little less,But I alwus kind o’ think it ‘ud be as wellEf they wouldn’t alwus have to up an’ tell;We kids wish ‘at they’d thes wait,It’s a-comin’—soon or late,Wen a feller’s itchin’ to be spanked.