Self-Congratulation
Ellen, you were thoughtless onceOf beauty or of grace,Simple and homely in attire,Careless of form and face;Then whence this change? and wherefore nowSo often smoothe your hair?And wherefore deck your youthful formWith such unwearied care?
Tell us, and cease to tire our earsWith that familiar strain;Why will you play those simple tunesSo often o’er again?“Indeed, dear friends, I can but sayThat childhood’s thoughts are gone;Each year its own new feelings brings,And years move swiftly on:
“And for these little simple airs—I love to play them o’erSo much—I dare not promise, now,To play them never more.”I answered—and it was enough;They turned them to depart;They could not read my secret thoughts,Nor see my throbbing heart.
I’ve noticed many a youthful form,Upon whose changeful faceThe inmost workings of the soulThe gazer well might trace;The speaking eye, the changing lip,The ready blushing cheek,The smiling, or beclouded brow,Their different feelings speak.
But, thank God! you might gaze on mineFor hours, and never knowThe secret changes of my soulFrom joy to keenest woe.Last night, as we sat round the fireConversing merrily,We heard, without, approaching stepsOf one well known to me!
There was no trembling in my voice,No blush upon my cheek,No lustrous sparkle in my eyes,Of hope, or joy, to speak;But, oh! my spirit burned within,My heart beat full and fast!He came not nigh—he went away—And then my joy was past.
And yet my comrades marked it not:My voice was still the same;They saw me smile, and o’er my faceNo signs of sadness came.They little knew my hidden thoughts;And they will NEVER knowThe aching anguish of my heart,The bitter burning woe!
Fluctuations,
What though the Sun had left my sky;To save me from despairThe blessed Moon arose on high,And shone serenely there.
I watched her, with a tearful gaze,Rise slowly o’er the hill,While through the dim horizon’s hazeHer light gleamed faint and chill.
I thought such wan and lifeless beamsCould ne’er my heart repayFor the bright sun’s most transient gleamsThat cheered me through the day:
But, as above that mist’s controlShe rose, and brighter shone,I felt her light upon my soul;But now—that light is gone!
Thick vapours snatched her from my sight,And I was darkling left,All in the cold and gloomy night,Of light and hope bereft:
Until, methought, a little starShone forth with trembling ray,To cheer me with its light afar—But that, too, passed away.
Anon, an earthly meteor blazedThe gloomy darkness through;I smiled, yet trembled while I gazed—But that soon vanished too!
And darker, drearier fell the nightUpon my spirit then;—But what is that faint struggling light?Is it the Moon again?
Kind Heaven! increase that silvery gleamAnd bid these clouds depart,And let her soft celestial beamRestore my fainting heart!